Teeth in the Parking Lot
By potatobiker on May 14, 2006 in Real Life--I DO Have One
Old man walks into the library. “Uh…someone’s teeth are outside.” Me: “What?” Man: “Out there laying in the parking lot by that blue car. A set of false teeth.” Me, eyebrows raised: “Oh…kay…False teeth?? Really? OK. Well, one of us will come out and get them in a minute. Thanks for letting us know.” A couple other staff members were standing there with me. We were all, not inexplicably, hesitant. We discuss it for a bit but don’t actually do anything. Finally, I go get a couple of napkins and a piece of plastic to wrap the false teeth in, but by the time we all get out there, the old man is picking them up with his own napkin. It’s only the bottom set. And there’s some sort of tobacco or black dirt between some of the teeth. But they aren’t yellowed or broken. I take them from him and set them on a table inside.
We start creating scenarios in which someone’s false teeth fall out of a car in a parking lot and they just don’t notice. Was it the passenger or the driver? Did the teeth fall out of the person’s mouth or were they on the floorboard or inside the door pocket or handle? Maybe they were in a purse or a pocket? Maybe the person went to spit tobacco and the teeth flew out too? Did the person come in the library bottom toothless or just leave that way? Should we call CSI and ID the owner with dental records?
No one is going to come back and claim these, of course. If you don’t notice your false teeth crashing to the pavement, you probably aren’t going to remember where you were all day to trace your steps.
Oh, and the first book someone brought back as we were staring at the choppers was called “The Tooth of Time.”
Chris | May 15, 2006 | Reply
I can’t help but think that if this person didn’t have an overbite before, he or she certainly has one now, giving them that Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel look.
Of course, in Oklahoma, this look is common, so it’s unlikely anyone (including the owner of the teeth) will ever notice a difference in appearance.
Cindy | May 22, 2006 | Reply
Ha!
I’m surprised no one came back for them. False teeth are expensive. THey probably won’t bother replacing them, so if you happen to notice some old person walking around with only one set of teeth, you might ask them if they possibly lost the bottoms in the library parking lot.