Who Wants to Be a Superhero? Ep. 1

Yay! Who Wants to Be a Superhero! In the first episode we see a quick montage of some of the weirdness that was the first rounds with Stan Lee (probably mostly screeners of some sort). Then we meet the contenders who made it through: Major Victory, Creature, Monkey Woman, Rotiart, Feedback, Levity, Cell Phone Girl, Nitro G, Big Momma, the Iron Enforcer, Tyveculus, and Lemuria (who was chosen online).

First everybody does their personal introductions and ends up at a mansion together to compare notes. Stan Lee appears on a screen and tells them to quit partying and go to the secret lair located at 11400 Willow. Don’t write it down! MEMORIZE IT! It’s a freakin’ secret! Of course, already some are whining about having to leave the mansion and not listening to the address. Not that it matters, since a giant tacky hummer-limo takes them there.

As the warehouse doors open, another screen appears, and Stan Lee says someone will be eliminated already. Test 1 had been a Morality Test. Rotiart reveals himself to be a spy by ripping off his name patch and revealing a new one: Traitor (rotiart backwards, duh)! He tells Stan he has narrowed it down to three who are of questionable morals: Levity (Who makes action figures…of HIMSELF! He hopes to become popular on the show and make money off his figures.), Creature (Who has flirted with every guy who’s come in the door.), and the Iron Enforcer (Who is obsessed with killing people.). Stan chooses to eliminate Levity, which was tragic because he was the only gay contestant. Levity’s greed and vanity ruined what could have been an inspirational character.

The contestants then go through an Asian drycleaners to a rickety “condemned” elevator, that takes them to their secret lair, which of course is totally cool, like a Surreal Life house. Stan prepares them for the next challenge, which first consists of wearing your street clothes. He maps out an area, provides a finish line, then contacts each of them one by one on their communicators. They must find a discreet place to change into their costume, then run through the finish line. What they DON’T know is that a lost little girl (with a very obvious microphone in the back of her pants) has been placed next to the finish line. As each hero runs by, the girl yells for help, asking to find her mommy. Of the remaining 10 contestants, only FOUR stop for her!

Cell Phone Girl seemed to stop because it dawned her this was the real test. Fat Momma seemed super sincere with wanting to help her. Lemuria seemed bummed that she wasn’t going to make the finish line, but she helped. And Major Victory totally cheesed up every second of helping her.

There were some awesome hijinks though: Nitro G totally changed clothes in front of everybody, Monkey Girl changed in a freakin’ tree, Lemuria tried to leap a trashcan in a single bound but got her leg stuck in it and went flailing to the ground, Big Momma’s donuts kept falling off her belt, and Major Victory was literally super-voguing every step of the way. It was great!

But in the end, 3 were called to the roof to defend themselves to the giant Stan Lee head on a billboard: Monkey Girl, Nitro G, and the Iron Enforcer. I thought for sure it would be the Iron Enforcer, considering he’d screwed up on the first test as well. But Nitro G was eliminated. I think Stan could see that many superheroes are like the Iron Enforcer. Wolverine, for instance. Also, he’s gritty and wears a giantic gun on his foil-wrapped arm.